We woke up that morning at the cabin on Kolob. We puttered around. The weather was nice. We shot the .22 (my first time shooting a gun that I can recall), and cleaned up the cabin. Ryan wanted to be home early so he could spend time with his friends before leaving.
We hadn't packed.
I know...he was leaving for 2 years, you would think we would have packed a leetle bit before the last hour. but, no.
I had been through the packing lists a zillion times, checking, rechecking items off the list. Making new lists, double checking old lists....I was nesting AND sending a missionary out. Believe me, I had checked those lists.
So, we got home from the cabin around 11 am and our conversation went something like this:
Ryan: Come on, Mom, we need to go pack NOW.
Me: Ok. Let me just finish putting this stuff away from the cabin. You go get started by laying everything out on your bed, and I'll be down in a minute.
Ryan: I don't need to lay everything out on my bed. Let's just go pack.
Me: Well, it's a lot of stuff and we need to fit it all in. I will do better if it's all laid out where we can see it.
Ryan: There's not that much stuff.
Me: I mean, the little stuff, your toiletries, all your socks and underwear....not your white shirts or suits.
Ryan: My socks and underwear are dirty. I haven't done laundry yet.
Me: What?! You haven't done laundry yet? I asked you to do that yesterday before we left! You told me it was done!
Ryan: Oh, I thought you meant for the cabin. I had everything I needed for the cabin. Let's just go pack and then I'll do laundry.
Me: Uhhhh....You can't pack without doing laundry.
Ryan: Yes we can. Just come please.
Me: Ryan. I am not coming if your laundry isn't done. You are leaving tomorrow morning at 8 am. ALL of your laundry needs to be done now.
Ryan: I will do my laundry later. Just come help me pack now please.
Me: NO! You cannot pack without doing laundry. Go start your laundry.
Ryan: I don't need to do laundry to pack! Just come help me.
We argued for a while. He refused to do laundry; I refused to help him pack. I was terrified he would pack without me. (But, then again, what would he pack?) He was angry and frustrated. I don't think he had planned to spend his last afternoon in St. George in his bedroom with his mother.
There were a lot of emotions swirling that afternoon.
We compromised. He started his laundry. I helped him start organizing.
We sorted and planned and organized and packed. Pretty early on, we discovered one of his "Two Pant" suits was only a "one pant" suit. Mike called the store and went to see if they had a pair that matched the coat.
Lily was an angel, alternating between nursing and sleeping in her bouncy chair.
I alternated between mourning Ryan's childhood and wondering if we had prepared well enough...between wanting him to stay and counting down the hours until we could just. be. done.
Every time I started to fear that my lacking mothering abilities would be on display the moment Ryan stepped into the MTC, I chased the fear away with the idea that 19 year old boys are not actually that aware of mothering abilities except when it comes to food, and the MTC would be providing all of that.
Ryan's frustration and impatience melted away. If he felt anything besides anticipation and determination, he didn't show it.
Justin Prisbrey came by late in the afternoon. He spent a few hours sitting on Ryan's floor opposite Lily and I. He was there when we zipped the second suitcase, weighed it, and declared Ryan officially packed! He was also there when we realized we'd packed BOTH suits--what would he wear on the plane the next day?! We unzipped, we unpacked, and pulled one suit and one white shirt out.
Justin was there when the pizza arrived and when we sat around very unceremoniously eating pizza out of the box and I said, "Hmmm...this is not how I pictured you last meal at home."
Justin left; other friends came: Valentine, Tbo, McKenna and Brenna. We had to kick them out at 8:30 so I could cut Ryan's hair. A missionary haircut! We had forgotten!
9 pm. We met Bishop Wood and his wife, Kim and the Stake President in his office. It was a beautiful setting apart. Ryan was blessed with power. Ryan was a missionary. We went home tired.
Friends came again. Valentine took our family picture. We kicked them out at 11.
Ryan started downloading music. Nothing like the last minute.
We were all in bed by 1 am.
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